Wednesday, April 6, 2011

paranoid

pfttt,the title sound creepy.yeah i know.
i try to make it simple without 5 or 6 paragraph essay
which you have to do it in TESL exam.
oh talking about TESL,my mum said her best friend's daughter already got the interview from the college.ok never mind,it just not my luck.

cheer up girl!
*i try my best

oh yeah talking about paranoid.i have something to share with you guys.
maybe it's not a big deal, but for me it was like a big scar left in my mind and seriously,
it change my life
*not really but a lil bit i guess

when i move to a new school.i felt like a big monster moving to a tiny little city with tiny people
but it doesn't mean that i'm super duper huge girl.
the way they look at me.and guess what, nobody what to be friend with me.
my first day in class i sat alone at the back and nobody what to share book with me.
i don't know why.but i tried my best to get their attention by bringing cookies to school and gave it to everyone.it's worth.
i'm not a girl that too picky about making new friend.
i'm an easy-out person.
everyone can be my friend.
so to make it short,42 person in my class are my friends

but it's going crinkle,
this boy misunderstood about my kindness.he thought that i'm in love with him
maybe because i always let him borrowed my pencil during classes.
then he passed a love letter to my friend.he said, urghh i hate to say it
you know the loveydovey words.
seriously i thought we're just friend.so i tried to ignore him
the next day he mad at me and used the *&^%$3 words in front of public
somebody please covered my head with paper bag!
actually they three of them.try imaging my situation

i become more paranoid when the same thing happen when i was 15teen.
but for sure different person.so this time i tried to be more matured and i already arrange the best word to tell him.
and yes,he said 'who are you thinking you are?'
again the same thing happen

i try to act like a dude.
yeah no crying like a baby doll
no suicide

this is what i paranoid about
they really seem complex in my life.
like algebra question.
*pheww

and it's become more complex when you're facing this kind of problem in your life,i mean my family.when my parents get divorce i feel like 'oh shit!'
i really don't understand them.

don't ask me this kind of question
'are you still single?'
'maybe we can hang out together someday at the park?'
'don't get me wrong, it's just a lunch not a date'
hell yeah?
talk to my hand man

i hate this kind of question and situation.
they change from algebra to chemical equation which you have to balance it.

hey,am i like a reserve player.
which you can easily get me after you dump your girlfriend?
i've been in that situation.

ok stop the nonsense.ignore what i'm talking about
maybe after you reading this post you will become paranoid too
ahahha! i'm joking.
it's past so just let it go

chill! i still the same aisyahrazak okay.
no one can replace my place
;)

2 comments:

nabilah daud said...

tudia.awat jadi lagu ni.

h[a]ni$ said...

err.. xtau nk komen ape.. tergamam aku...