When was my last journal? I said I would spare some time on blogging but I didn't. Ah geez, it's hard to keep up with words. This couple of days, I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Rely on medicine and I took a day off just to sleep the whole day. By sleeping I really mean it. 12 hours straight, and woke up at 10 PM just to get a shower, eat, fill in the gas then continued sleeping. Oh my, I love that day, good day man.
I prefer not to blame on the biological fact that my hormone throws a tantrum. But the thing is, nothing to do with anger or uncontrolled temper. More on the depressed, blue, sorrow kinda mood. I watched this one video on the progress of a cute little pug after being abandoned by its previous owner. Ya'll I cried. No, not a normal cry where your tears running down your cheek and you just wiped them then told yourself "man up, girl." I was weeping man for a good 10 minutes, okay?
Here comes the day where you feel kinda lost but couldn't find a way out. Oh I hate this day. Listening to Kodaline's songs while scrolling Facebook, my finger stopped at this one specific post. Oh look at that cute smile. A simple smile that makes you feel you're at home. That kind of smile where your eyes squinted because you are overjoyed but still it's not exaggerated. I wonder what makes you so happy?
I miss that warm smile. It has been a roller coaster year without you. There's a day where I let the thunder in, sometimes the cold breezy whisper on my skin and there's a day I feel content because I know I couldn't let this emotion control my life. I should keep on moving even if it just a slow pace but I need to move from that point.
Moving on doesn't mean that I'm leaving all the memories behind. Moving on doesn't mean I'm trying to run away and let the past sink in the deep hole. I just move from one point to another point.
Going back home is not as great as it used to be. I always find myself caught in my own words and thoughts. Believe me, mak is not a good listener as you. I'm not lying. Sometimes she can just divert the topic in the middle of the conversation. Ah geez mak can't be as good as you.
I miss talking to you. "How was your day aisyah?" I need to hear that simple question again from you while you're lying on your bed with a black old radio playing classic songs that you put next to your ear.
"Are you still awake? Wait, I'm not finished with my story."
