This Thursday marks as my last day working as a writer at AcePremier. Don't ask me "what's your plan?" I have no answer to that question. It took courage and 3 months for me to gather my strength to come up with this brutal decision. Call me crazy or stupid, but I think I need time to refresh and re-evaluate everything.
I opened my email and click on the folder "DRAFT". I saw this one draft titled "A WITHDRAWAL". This is what I wrote when I almost, nope not almost but completely frustrated with my life. So yeah, I'll be a jobless millennial starting this Friday. I want to wake up on Saturday morning feeling fresh and drafting my 'life plan' carefully. What I want to do next?
Hello new day,
Is it too early for me to ask "how's your day?" Well, I can't sleep last night and I'm not sure is it because I'm hungry and my lazy ass doesn't want to get out from bed or I think too much about what's next? I guess it's the latter.
I randomly texted all my family members that I want to quit my job without having a backup plan. Call me insane, but I think stress and emotional breakdown ain't a joke. I spent almost 30 minutes at the parking lot thinking about what I want in my life. Damn adulthood is a hella crazy new world.
After a few minutes, I received a simple text from my sister, "Come back home." A simple text that made me cried out of sudden. It's nothing new for me, I've been in the same situation a year ago when I gave up with my shitty boss who demanded so much from me. It makes me think, do all jobs will make you suffer? Is that why I saw many adults look completely blank on the train or by the side road? Like they are carrying such heavy loads.
Adulthood is crazy.
I wonder how my mom manages to go through all the shits. She's a teacher, she can't easily move to another school if she has a problem with the principle or other colleagues. How can she be a teacher for a good 20 plus years? That's a real question.
Are we millennials like to whine, complain about almost everything? Why the coffee is pricey? Why the rental is expensive? I think I should be a risk-taker. It's the time for me to do so. Don't you think so? I'm so afraid of not able to manage my commitment. I'm so afraid to stand up after being hit to the bottom, I'm afraid of time. I'm afraid if I waste my time doing nothing. For me, life should work continuously as in the flow won't abrupt suddenly. But if I quit my job now, it will affect the whole process of timing. Ah, it's not easy don't you think so?
